Lip Service (To Be Heard)

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*** DISCLAIMER: ***

This post will be broken, chaotic & pieced together. I can't promise that it will make much sense either, but it must evacuate my brain. 

I am going to do every bit of this for the rest of my days. 

Today has been an interesting today. I've felt the devil attacking me. Telling me that God's doing no good through my testimony. Telling me that people of authority do not like me & would rather not be "bothered" by me.

God has adjusted my focus. My testimony is powerful. God can work through me in the lives of addicts. I pray that seed is planted. God will water it.  

I was able to express some things at Bible study today that [desperately] needed to be heard.  Drug addiction is an awful waste of beautiful lives. 

I know this because I am a recovering addict. My family suffered because of my ignorance. I am grateful to God for being there for me when I didn't know anything about Him. He was there when all I was interested in serving was myself. 

He was there when lip service was all I had to offer. I could pick scripture out of my dust-covered Bible & throw it at someone or justify my behavior. I wasn't interested in digging deeper and understanding God's Word. I was interested in saying that I believed in God and not even knowing what that meant exactly.

So often we look to society to tell us how to live. 

Big mistake; HUGE.

I check my guidebook --- The Bible. Society will lead you astray. Everyone always wants help from someone. The Bible is full of answers. Your circumstances will be drastically different if you live for the Lord. I know this to be true. 

The people, places & things in your life will change when the Lord is first. Losing all my friends was a scary part of recovery for me. The fact that they weren't friends was an even  harder pill to swallow; no punn intended --- har har har. Sure, it was rough for a while. God was there. "Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you." My "friends" weren't and they still aren't, but it is well with my soul. 

The Lord opened up incredible new doors and Godly examples walked through them. The Lord knew exactly what I needed, when I needed it. The Lord knew He would use me. I'm so incredibly grateful and humbled by my experiences; then and now. 

From an early age I experienced pain no child or adult, for that matter, should have to experience & God is delivering me from these situations. Granted, they are my story. My early story is but a stepping stone into the amazing grace that saved a wretch like me. 

He set me free yes He set me free
He broke the bonds of prison for me
I'm glory bound my Jesus to see
for glory to God He set me free