Friday, January 22, 2016

It's My Turn to Shine (To Be Heard)

I've been indifferent this week. I've not felt like myself. I didn't go to Bible Study Wednesday night or Thursday morning, which is NOT like me to skip out on fellowship with sisters & brothers in Christ. Jesus is with me everyday, I don't need to be in a pew to serve the Lord. However, we all have days, weeks, sometimes months, where we we're not feeling like ourselves. 

I've pretty much stayed away from Facebook aside from a random 'like' here or a comment there. As much as individuals say they just don't like confrontation, Facebook is apparently the place to express it---cryptically, at that. That gives me a headache and I've had one of those this week & quite frankly, I prefer to avoid any additional headache at all cost.

When I started this blog, I never thought I'd still be writing almost six years later. I come to know the Lord in the same year, five months after starting this blog. Yes, I remember dates like the back of my hand. They stick in there. Remembering my grocery list however, nope. It stays right on the kitchen table when I walk out the door. 

I had no intention really with this post, or this blog, for that matter. The only intention that I ever have when I write is to express how I am feeling because there is more room on the outside than there is inside and I need space---lots of space. I'm fairly low maintenance, until it comes to how much space that I need. 

Come to think of it, that [space] that I created for myself two weeks ago has been a huge help. I didn't realize it but, I had inadvertently crammed my schedule so full with doing things for other people that I had no time for myself.   Okay so, I knew I was doing it, but did it anyway because that's a part of my flawed character. A great woman once said to me, "we are none perfect." Such a great lady, I only knew for a short while & she has recently passed on to be with the Lord. 

It's time. It's time for me to shine. The Lord has opened, as well as closed, a plethora of doors for me over the last five and a half years. As a matter of fact, within the last year alone, I have grown so much in my drug recovery. He has opened so many doors this last year for me to grow into this secure, loved, competent human being.  No, I haven't been a blithering mess for many years, but He's polishing me for great things. 

As iron sharpens iron,
    so one person sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17 (NIV)

I know that there are great days ahead because He's here with me. He walks beside me when I need it and this last week, He's carried me & I've felt His presence the whole time. I'm okay. Whatever heads my way, I'm prepared. 

I can do all things 
through Christ 
who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13 (NKJV) 

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