I'm in a New World (Since the Lord Saved Me)

April 17th, 2014 made three years that I "officially" gave my life to Christ and joined Community Christian Church. However, my Walk started on September 3rd, 2010. I'm a note-taker. Is that obvious? Almost every step I've taken in my Christian walk, I've noted. I'm on Volume IV.

I asked Pa Frank where I should start & he said to start with The Creation Story in the Old Testament. Keep in mind, I knew nothing. Zilch. I wasn't brought up in church. The only church I had ever experienced was on my own initiative basically. I remember when I was around 8 or 9 years old, riding the bus to Gospel Light Baptist Church while staying the weekend at my Mom's. I went there several times & can't remember the sermons in Sunday School but, I remember being saved there. The only thing I remember is that we all bowed our heads & prayed & I was saved that day. I was a baby, I had no idea what Salvation meant. In fact, I had no idea what Salvation meant up until the last few years. I do know that I was experiencing a lot that no child should ever have to experience during that time & to have some sense of security that Jesus loved me had to be pretty appealing. 

I went to Psalms 91 in Linwood, NC a couple times when I was nine. My Mom was teaching a children's Sunday School class for a while & I was able to go a couple times. I memorized a verse (I still remember it) from: 

Acts 4:12 - Neither is there Salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. 

I received this beautiful bookmark for memorizing the verse: 

There were a few occasions that I went to a little church in the Linwood, NC area with a friend of mine around the age of ten. I remember saving the programs when I went to church there (I've since thrown them away & wish that I'd kept them) and how good it made me feel to be surrounded by love. I've learned that this was, most assuredly, the Holy Spirit within those walls. 

In 1999, I was experiencing trials & tribulations in my life that stemmed from childhood & had no idea what to do with them. I went to church with a friend from work & was led to the front at the end of service, crying & joyful simultaneously. I was given the above cross & have kept it all these years. That crying and joy did not convince me to turn from my sins. I wasn't ready.

The above snippets are all the memories that I have of church until 2010 (minus one). They all have one common denominator = I fled to Christ when things were bad. This time, I turned to Christ because things were so good. They weren't perfect (by no stretch of the imagination) but, I was doing better in my life, than I ever had. 

When I started reading my Bible, I wasn't ready to attend church. I was terrified someone would ask me a question and I wouldn't know the answer to it. I was terrified I wasn't "good enough". 

2 Corinthians 12:9 ...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness...

I was terrified I would be considered a hypocrite. I was so worried what someone else might think. 

If you really know who you are in Christ, you don't have to convince everybody else that you're right.

--- Joyce Meyer

 Obviously, I didn't know who I was in Christ at that point & sometimes I still struggle with that because I let people's judgement stand in my view & I shouldn't. Being a Christian is hard. Life isn't perfect. That's the common misconception is that a Christian's life is perfect. Nope. 

Christianity to me is living my life for Him; every second, every day & every way, my thoughts go directly to Him. 

Do I always succeed? No. Do I always try again? YES! Always. 

There's no turning back for me.

If there's one thing I can tell you, it's that He's been there all along, 

Jeremiah 29:13 - And yea shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. 

When I was Baptized on September 18th, 2011, the scripture that came to my mind was:

James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and He shall lift you up. 

And He shall.

I Praise Him.

I wanted to stop and state how grateful I am for His presence in my life. I must stop for a moment and Praise Him because He is ultimately responsible. For so many years, I wondered aimlessly through life not understanding anything really. I think back through all my years when I was lost and wonder how I ever made it through. 

I am quite grateful I did because Christ has introduced me to a life I've never known. Things aren't always perfect, but even when I have a day that's the pits, it's still an amazing day that I've been given to Praise Him.

I've noticed the changes in myself, as well as others noticing the changes in me. My fuse isn't nearly as short as it used to be. My patience is growing stronger. I now choose to walk away from conflict where I used to be all in without thinking. I am not perfect, but I strive on a daily basis to walk closer with Him. 

I read my Bible frequently as I am faced with questions. I am faced with questions more and more these days. I view everything in a different light.  

1 John 1:6-10 (NKJV)

6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.

7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.

I Walk the Line

The definition of  a Christian is as follows:


Chris·tian  (krschn)

adj.

1. Professing belief in Jesus as Christ or following the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus.

2. Relating to or derived from Jesus or Jesus's teachings.

3. Manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus; Christlike.

4. Relating to or characteristic of Christianity or its adherents.

5. Showing a loving concern for others; humane.

n.

1. One who professes belief in Jesus as Christ or follows the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus.

2. One who lives according to the teachings of Jesus.

Christianity is based on Faith. Faith that He exists, although you cannot see.

I am a believer.

I have dedicated my life to being more Christ-like, in every move that I make. I fall short some days. I react to situations with frustration sometimes and I shouldn't. I turned to Christ because my life was filled with so much good and I felt compelled to do so. On occasion, I am judged for this and that's okay. I try my best not to return the judgement. 

It is difficult at times, the way people react to the fact that I am walking with Christ. It is common for people to be uninterested in the joy I attempt to share. Under no circumstance do I pressure folks to feel the way I feel or believe what I believe. People tend to have a hard time accepting my walk because of the person I used to be. That's also okay. 

I am very grateful that God saw fit for me to become a Mother because, it was then, my life changed. I would like to think this change will be forever. I would like to think I will walk with Christ for the span of my life and learn as much as I can regarding His teachings.

Christ does not pressure us to believe, but He's there if we choose to. I cannot explain the inner peace that I feel since I've chosen my walk with Him. It's a calm that's never existed inside me. I chose baby steps to begin with. I started reading my Bible at home, which I've done sporadically, for years. This time, I've stuck with reading it. I made lots of excuses for not going to Church. The main one being that I was scared someone would ask me a question that I didn't know the answer to. Silly, right? Now that I think about it, it's incredibly silly. 

Another reason I felt I didn't "need" to attend Church was because I was a sinner. Well, that is the very reason I should have been there. Hello, we're all sinners. Some more than others, but that's just it, it's all sin!!!!! 

We don't have to be perfect to go to Church.

Somehow, this myth was introduced and too bad we can't rewind and take it back because it's prevents worthy folks from going. 

We are ALL worthy of God. 

Don't ever let anyone tell you any different. We ALL deserve to Praise God for His many blessings. 

The way I look at things, situations and people are completely different than before I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. I don't deny the bad I have been responsible for in my life. The only thing I can do is forgive myself and move forward with no intentions of replaying them. God has forgiven me and I have forgiven myself. That's all that can be done. It IS that simple, although some folks may think there's more to it, it is that simple.

I do my best to be a servant for Him. He guides me where I need to go and I listen. God has guided me for a while now. I wake up on a daily basis and see where He leads me next. Things aren't always simple and they're not always going to be simple, but my walk with Him leads me where I should be. 

It is all in His Master Plan.