Late Return

***Disclaimer: This is about my real life; my journey through Christ & where He leads me. Please prepare yourself for truth.***

I have been slowly cleaning out and organizing the shed that I inherited (so-to-speak) when my Gramma died two and a half years ago. My plans are to have my business there. There's plenty of space for my work area. It's setup for power, it just hasn't ever been used in the twelve years that my Gramma had it. 

I came across a laptop sleeve a while ago. In 2007, I purchased a laptop bag from Walmart. The bag didn't last long at all. As a matter of fact, the arm was detached within weeks of having the bag. The laptop sleeve was an insert to the bag. Do you get where I'm headed? 

I returned the bag to Walmart & got another bag. I never returned the sleeve; until yesterday. Do you understand what I'm saying? I stole (keeping is the same as stealing, if it doesn't belong to you) the laptop sleeve because I knew that I should have returned that, along with the bag but I wanted to keep it. 

Last night, I nervously walked up to customer service at Walmart. I stood in line waiting for fifteen or so minutes. I didn't know what the repercussions would be, but I was willing to accept whatever was coming. I cannot lead my children by example if I'm living a lie. The Holy Spirit convicted me to return that bag; every single time I laid eyes on it. There's no, "oh, I'll donate this to Goodwill," and it be finished; no sir! 

I had to physically return that bag. The lady was actually very pleasant about it & she didn't have to be, but she was. That specific lady, I have always thought, was rather detached & unfeeling. Last night, God showed me a different side of this woman. She showed me compassion when she didn't have to. 

Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and He shall lift you up. - James 4:10

The Proverbial Wagon (To Be Heard)

I did it. I finally went back to the gym. I haven't been since the end of June & that was once in weeks & weeks before that. This is uncharacteristic for me. I started working out regularly (5-7 days a week) again, in October of 2013 when my Miniest was 7 months old. I incorporated healthier choices with food, which I'd never really done consistently. I lost 36 pounds (66 or 67 total) & felt awesome. And then it happened....what ALWAYS happens:

I start struggling.

Ordinarily, I don't struggle with working out, I struggle with food. This time, however, things have been different. I started gaining back the weight, pound by pound. I did the Ultimate Reset and it completely changed my way of viewing everything. You can read about that experience here. Here's the sad part, I didn't "bring it" like the post said. I did my run and it wasn't my personal best, but I completed it & I'm glad I did. 

I'm also still glad I did the reset. Mentally, it put me in a place to realize that bouncing from program to program is not healthy for me. I have an eating disorder. There, I said it. No, I'm not making the type bold. Heck, maybe no one will actually read this. I just need to "publically" say it. I'm not ready to shout it from the rooftops, but eventually, I will; because, that's who I am. 

I don't want to live my life in fear. 

What exactly do I mean? I mean, the fear that someone may notice my weight gain & judge me without knowing what I'm going through. The fear that someone will be at the gym when I get there. The fear that I won't ever make my goal weight. The fear that I will have to buy a size up in clothes (this just happened). The fear that I will gain weight and dog myself out more than anyone could ever do. 

The fear that people will look straight at my weight gain when they see me. Yes, women are the WORST about this. As a matter of fact, I know several that do this. Why? Because of their own insecurities (I assume) and if they can "size me up" and make themselves look better, then it makes them feel better. 

At the end of June, I joined a support group. I'm working the 12 steps. Most days (recently), I fail miserably. I finally made it through step four & I thought I would lose it before I got through it. I actually had to take a week off from it. Taking a personal inventory is brutal. I don't care how much you think that you have "it" together. I'm talking, issues from childhood that I never wanted to talk about. But that's the point really, to get those issues out in the open so I (you) can move forward. 

This is hard for me: to type, to say, to put myself out there. Having an eating disorder is overwhelming, to say the very least. It consumes my life. However, I know that God is in control & that in His time, I will conquer this mountain. 

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

--- Philippians 4: 13

I Looked Out the Window (To Be Heard)

   This morning, I looked out the window at church and realized, the trees that I use to look out the window and see, were gone. 
   To the layperson, this may mean nothing; to me, it means everything.
   Those trees have been gone for quite a while now; as has the old me. 

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold all things become new. 

--2 Corinthians 5:17

A Humbling Experience (To Be Heard)

   

 The day before yesterday was a blur from start to finish. Not because I'm unable to remember (after I sit down to think, of course) it, but because it flew by at rapid speed; much like The Roadrunner running from Wile E. Coyote, my day ran away from me. 
     This week is a little more chaotic than normal. This is the week before Owen's seventh birthday party and I would like for everything to be perfect. Upon further inspection of my motives regarding said perfection, I realize that I'm trying to "keep up with the Jones'" so-to-speak. I'm doing things such as: weeding the flowerbeds and washing the outside of the house & these things make no difference in the grand scheme. 
     If people come to judge, they'll judge regardless of how clean our home is or how many weeds are in my flowers, regardless of how hard I try to make it impossible for that to happen.
     The real star of this party is not the house or the yard, but the young man that saved my life. He'll be 7 on August 26th & that, my friends, is what matters.  

Set your affection on things above, not on things of the earth. 

-Colossians 3:2

With Christ, I'm Possible.

This may seem to be just a painting. It's much more than that. It's my heart and soul poured onto this canvas. It's years of thinking I couldn't. It's years of thinking I was nothing & I would never amount to anything because I'd never push hard enough to try. 
This painting symbolizes my recovery from drug addiction & alcohol abuse. This painting represents years of not speaking out about being sexually abused. This painting embodies all that I have grown to be. 
Several weeks back, I had a conversation with a friend whom I've grown close with recently. I said how life for me was impossible without Christ. But with Christ, I'm possible! 
When I was lost, I would wander around aimlessly never knowing what was next. Always thinking, "why me? Why does all this stuff have to happen to me?" Christ wasn't present in my life. He didn't instruct my days. He didn't lead me to the path of righteousness. You know why? Because I didn't want Him to. 
I wasn't interested in changing one iota of my life for anyone; let alone Christ. I came to Him & He has cleaned me up. I'm far from perfect. I won't get the Mother of the Year Award, or Wife of the Year Award for that matter but, I do my best to do what is acceptable in the eyes of the Lord on a minute-to-minute basis. Not just because it's Sunday, or because I know someone sees me, because it's every day, and what you do behind closed doors matters just as much, as what you do in the public eye.
There are people who are still waiting in the wings for me to fail & I'm okay with that. I think they'll always be there, watching and waiting. Sometimes it's incredibly irritating, but I'm doing my best to be understanding. 
This painting is the beginning of great things to come. My intentions are a line of products dedicated to the "I'm Possible" theme. I will donate 10% of the purchase price (of each work) to Speakyoursilence.org. Follow the link that I have provided & find out more information on #thestitch. Stay tuned for excellence.

With Christ, I'm Possible. 

Just Show Up, Results Will Happen (To Be Heard)

I woke up this morning at 4:30am, which has become my weekday routine. To the gym to get my hour & back to the house & get my day started. I turn on Facebook to get my posts up for my fitness group & boom, it comes to me:

No, this isn't a link to the group, the group is private. The link is to my business page (in case you were wondering). When I posted this, it was fitness-related. It doesn't have to be. This covers all aspects of life. 

That hour at the gym is my time. It's my time to work on me. I don't have to tend to anyone else & if you're a Mother, you can understand where I am coming from. Every moment (almost) , in every day (almost), you are tending to other people & things. Even when my kids are away, I'm cleaning house, doing laundry, mapping out what else I have to do, etc. The point being, there is very little time in my life for just me & me alone. I'm not complaining people, I'm just explaining.

Thursday mornings, I have been going to a Bible Study. Evan gets to go to the child care center & get almost two hours to get ensconced in His Word. Isn't the word ensconced beautiful? I love it. 

After my hour, getting myself ready, getting the boys up & dealing with 6 year old attitude & 35 year old (myself) attitude, I had talked myself out of being ensconced this morning. I just wasn't in it. You know what I did & I'm glad that I did?

I showed up and I got results. 

Blessings await us. Step outside your bubble. Step away from your comfort zone. 

Serve Him. 

He is waiting with something for you to do. 

Being Christian is Hard

If you're Christian, you know exactly what I mean. The road less traveled is exactly that, less traveled. When I was lost in sin & darkness, life was so much easier. I said what I wanted to, did what I wanted & didn't give either very much thought. 

I had the "I don't care what people think about me" attitude, much like most people do. All that changed when I come to Christ. All of it. Everything that was wrong with my life changed. He changed me. Whether I was willing or not, the Holy Spirit pretty much pecked away at me until all the bad things were gone. Well, there are still a few bad things: frustration, impatience & attitude are at the top of the list. The list is much shorter now, thank goodness. I work on these things daily. I'm a work in progress and He's doing the best He can with what He's got to work with.

Last Friday night, Owen had a makeup game at the ball field & so we headed out to make the last game happen. It was cloudy all afternoon & of course, when we were about ten minutes into the game, they said, "into the dugout". Me [and my attitude] were ready to head to the house & relax, NOT stand around and wait on rain. It made absolutely no sense to me. As we're all standing underneath the concession stand, we're talking & of course, I say how this makes absolutely no sense to me & some random Mom (not from our team) says something like, well it could blow over. I don't really know exactly what she said, but I know the look I gave her. The "who are you and why are you in our conversation" look. 

Yuck. I should be ashamed of myself. In fact, I was---immediately. I wasn't nasty to her. I wasn't ugly. I didn't roll my eyes. I just didn't say anything in reply to her statement & turned my head. She may have not known what I was thinking, but I did. I was rude. That was rude. She was just trying to be nice and I was rude.

Being Christian is hard. 

Every second of every day is no longer mine. It belongs to Jesus Christ. He works in me to lead others to Him. He never ceases to amaze me, all things connect together & where He needs me, He leads me. 

In Sunday School last week, the moral of the story was that we should be kind to people even when they are unkind to us. No, she wasn't unkind to me but would it have hurt me to smile when she was being nice? 

Sometimes people are not kind. Sometimes people are downright rude. Sometimes, people are rude intentionally & we should lead by example and be kind anyway. 

So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 2:1-5 (ESV)

Being Christian is Hard. 

Don't give up!

He Calls Us

At the beginning of May, we celebrated our 39th Homecoming  at Community Christian Church. We had 58 (give or take) in attendance.

I believe wholeheartedly, that He calls us to do things. We choose to obey or not. He called me to sing on this day. I sung because He wanted me to; certainly not because I sound good. My entire body was shaking, you could hear it in my voice, but I sang Keep Walking. I did just that, I kept walking. Why? Because He wanted me to.  In my heart, I feel someone within those walls needed to hear it. 

When I stepped up to the plate, so to speak, I said that He tells us to tell people about Him, and He does. I said that He tells us to be bold, and He does. However, the scripture I quoted was actually two. 

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. --- Joel 1:3

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. --- Joshua 1:9

20 Things

⒈ I ♥ Jesus! He is my 1st & everything else falls into place. 

⒉ I'm an Artist. That doesn't mean I'm just a painter. That means with every fiber of my being, I create things. All kinds of things. I love to let my imagination carry me away ☁☁☁.

⒊ I have the best job in the world: Mommy to two boys. Somedays, I think I'll come away with ZERO sanity left & never, would I change a thing. Ever. Even when I'm frustrated, which happens often.

⒋ Gardening is my therapy. 

⒌ I love nature. I love laying under the trees looking up at the leaves. I love hearing the birds chirp & sing .

⒍ Imma Daddy's girl. Always have been, always will be. He's the greatest. 

⒎ I love neon socks & hopscotch.

⒏ Beauty has nothing to do with your exterior, no matter how much society pushes that it does.

⒐ You will not catch me using the acronym to laugh out loud. Ever. Pet peeve.

⒑ I laugh a lot. A big, loud, hearty laugh. It doesn't matter who's listening or judging. Laughter is key. Find the humor.

⒒ I love to takes pictures. I'm not a photographer. Don't want to be. I just want to take pictures .

⒓ I like what I like, it doesn't matter if you do or not. I'm not a trendsetter or follower.

⒔ I'm bright and loud. Always. Even when I'm moody.

⒕ I love Yoga. I've been practicing regularly for almost a year & I adore it.

⒖ Blogging is my thing. It relieves stress.

⒗ I'm originally from North Carolina, but I love in Georgia. I'm never leaving.

⒘ I dislike beauty pageants. I think they send the wrong message.

⒙ I'm not a sports fan at all. However, my oldest darling has started playing Tee Ball & I'm his biggest fan (who is trying to learn, bit by bit). 

⒚ I prefer reading books over watching movies, but I never make enough time for them.

⒛ Last, but not least, I have the best husband in the world. We are complete opposites & disagree on everything except that we love each other.

The End!

I'm in a New World (Since the Lord Saved Me)

April 17th, 2014 made three years that I "officially" gave my life to Christ and joined Community Christian Church. However, my Walk started on September 3rd, 2010. I'm a note-taker. Is that obvious? Almost every step I've taken in my Christian walk, I've noted. I'm on Volume IV.

I asked Pa Frank where I should start & he said to start with The Creation Story in the Old Testament. Keep in mind, I knew nothing. Zilch. I wasn't brought up in church. The only church I had ever experienced was on my own initiative basically. I remember when I was around 8 or 9 years old, riding the bus to Gospel Light Baptist Church while staying the weekend at my Mom's. I went there several times & can't remember the sermons in Sunday School but, I remember being saved there. The only thing I remember is that we all bowed our heads & prayed & I was saved that day. I was a baby, I had no idea what Salvation meant. In fact, I had no idea what Salvation meant up until the last few years. I do know that I was experiencing a lot that no child should ever have to experience during that time & to have some sense of security that Jesus loved me had to be pretty appealing. 

I went to Psalms 91 in Linwood, NC a couple times when I was nine. My Mom was teaching a children's Sunday School class for a while & I was able to go a couple times. I memorized a verse (I still remember it) from: 

Acts 4:12 - Neither is there Salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. 

I received this beautiful bookmark for memorizing the verse: 

There were a few occasions that I went to a little church in the Linwood, NC area with a friend of mine around the age of ten. I remember saving the programs when I went to church there (I've since thrown them away & wish that I'd kept them) and how good it made me feel to be surrounded by love. I've learned that this was, most assuredly, the Holy Spirit within those walls. 

In 1999, I was experiencing trials & tribulations in my life that stemmed from childhood & had no idea what to do with them. I went to church with a friend from work & was led to the front at the end of service, crying & joyful simultaneously. I was given the above cross & have kept it all these years. That crying and joy did not convince me to turn from my sins. I wasn't ready.

The above snippets are all the memories that I have of church until 2010 (minus one). They all have one common denominator = I fled to Christ when things were bad. This time, I turned to Christ because things were so good. They weren't perfect (by no stretch of the imagination) but, I was doing better in my life, than I ever had. 

When I started reading my Bible, I wasn't ready to attend church. I was terrified someone would ask me a question and I wouldn't know the answer to it. I was terrified I wasn't "good enough". 

2 Corinthians 12:9 ...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness...

I was terrified I would be considered a hypocrite. I was so worried what someone else might think. 

If you really know who you are in Christ, you don't have to convince everybody else that you're right.

--- Joyce Meyer

 Obviously, I didn't know who I was in Christ at that point & sometimes I still struggle with that because I let people's judgement stand in my view & I shouldn't. Being a Christian is hard. Life isn't perfect. That's the common misconception is that a Christian's life is perfect. Nope. 

Christianity to me is living my life for Him; every second, every day & every way, my thoughts go directly to Him. 

Do I always succeed? No. Do I always try again? YES! Always. 

There's no turning back for me.

If there's one thing I can tell you, it's that He's been there all along, 

Jeremiah 29:13 - And yea shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. 

When I was Baptized on September 18th, 2011, the scripture that came to my mind was:

James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and He shall lift you up. 

And He shall.

She is with me.

I caught myself at the store the other day, searching for the hard candy that Gramma used to buy all the time. I don't even like it. Rarely did I ever have any when she was alive. Why do I now want it when she's dead?

It's funny how we grieve. I'm not sure I've even grieved for her. I understand that she is no longer at the doctor's office every other day trying to figure out what's wrong. Not just one doctor, many doctors. Not just one time, in fact, I couldn't tell you how many doctor appointments that she had over the last several years. I'm not sure about triple digits, but I'm positive about double digits. 

This doll was Gramma's favorite. To me, it's creepy. I do not like it in the slightest; I never have. Where is it now? On my mantle beside my first angel I bought in 1997. The angel was the topper on my very first Christmas tree.

I looked at the doll over and over in the box and even thought about it being in the box before I decided that I wouldn't give it to Goodwill (Gramma's favorite store), I would display it. No idea. Well, I have an idea. God. Sometimes He tells us to do things we don't want to do. I think He wants me to grieve for her. I don't really know how to. 

I talk to her. As nuts as it seemed to me that she talked to Tolly every time her clock chimed, I probably seem just as nuts for talking to her randomly throughout each day. She's everywhere in our home.

She gave me this ornament years ago. It came in its own little special box. I remember thinking, I don't need any more junk, but I didn't say it. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. She loved to give me things. 

I'm glad I didn't say it. As a matter if fact, I'm glad I didn't say a lot of things. Gramma and I disagreed a lot on parenting tactics. A difference in four decades, raising & lifestyle, I suppose.

I made this shadow box for her. The shells inside are ones we collected together. I just recently hung it on my wall. It took me several months to even walk out to the shed. We donated her clothes to an abused women's shelter. They sat in the shed for months before I had the nerve to go through them. 

I'm grateful for all the events that led to me moving to Georgia & moving in with Gramma. I was an awful mess then & for a very long time after but, it got me to where I am now. She saw that. She was there for the birth of both of my babies & my wedding. She didn't think I would ever get married. If I had to guess, she probably thought I'd be a mess forever.

Then I started on my walk with Christ. It took Him about eight months to clean me up to 'mint' condition. I grow daily with Him and she knew that. She was here to see me succeed. Succeed in my walk with Christ.

It's not the holiday so much, that makes me miss her. I miss her every time I need an answer to a question. I reach to call her frequently. I bought her a Christmas card the other day. Yes, I am fully aware that her body is gone. 

She is everywhere. I'd like to believe that she's here with me half the time & the other half, she's with George. He took care of her when I was unable. I have those memories. I have no regrets. I wouldn't bring her back if I could, because she felt so bad all of the time. That doesn't make me miss her any less.

This Snowman Tree was made for Gramma by a sweet friend she met when she lived across the bridge from Topsail Island, NC. It's my prized possession. I will cherish it forever. I always told her that I wanted it. 

I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me. -- Philippians 4:13

Do Good Anyway!

It's been quite a while since my last post. I've got lots of goodies going on right now. One of my goodies being my continued daily walk with Christ, which leads me into this post.

I don't know about you, but the DVR is the best thing going since the self-adhesive stamp! I am able to record one of my favorite programs and  watch at my leisure. My leisure for television (other than cartoons), almost always being, after everyone is in bed.

Joyce Meyer comes on Trinity Broadcasting Network and I LOVE HER! I have two folders: 1. Joyce Meyer (to watch) and 2. jm keepers (protected keepers).

Joyce (yes, she and I are on a first-name basis; although, she doesn't know my name) always says things exactly as I need to hear them.

I was on my third program (each is 30 minutes) the other night while sewing my wedding dress (another one of my goodies that I have going on right now) and Joyce said, "Do good anyway!" It sounds so simple, right? Well, we all know it's not. In the moment, it's easy to be ugly! Just think about it next time you're faced with the chance to do good or be ugly. Which do you choose?

Joyce, of course, introduced an example I can relate to when she said, "Have you ever just wanted to smack somebody?" I immediately laughed because I certainly have and you have too (whether you want to admit it or not)! Well, we are all given the opportunity to "DO GOOD ANYWAY!" We are all given chances many times every day to do good anyway.

Later on in the show, Joyce was discussing how  a woman came up to her and said she wanted her money back because she had been implementing the techniques Joyce suggested for two weeks and nothing was happening. Joyce either told the woman this or was thinking it (can't remember which; that episode was a keeper, I'll go back through and see eventually):

You gave the devil your whole life up until now and you can only give Christ two weeks??? This statement is so true! 

How quickly we tend to forget God created us,

--- Genesis 1:7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

He knows our path,

--- Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

and He gave His Son for our sins.

---John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

In conclusion, I, as well as anyone, knows how difficult it is to do good anyway.

My question to you is ---

What do you have to lose?

Have a Blessed day, Beloved!

Take A Moment

Today, as I was riding back from Ludowici, I looked up in the clouds and saw a beautiful Swan on the water, stretching out her wings. I decided to take a moment to stop and appreciate the beauty that I saw in the clouds.

So often it's rush, rush, rush, go, go, go, that we don't stop to smell the roses and appreciate the beauty that surrounds us. 

Take a moment to stretch your wings outside of your comfort zone and:

- have compassion 

- love unconditionally

- breathe in the beauty He has created for us

- do a good deed and tell no one

and most of all ---- don't forget,

to give Him all the credit.

Reflections of 2011

       

 Owen's snoozing soundly in bed and it's time to relax and reflect on this beautiful year that I have been blessed to have. I am certain this year has been superb due to my walk with Christ. I have put forth more effort during 2011 than I have my whole life towards choosing good and living that way. Sure, I fail sometimes. Don't we all? Yes, we do. Whether you choose to admit it to yourself or not, we all do fail sometimes in our walk. The great part is, everything is a learning experience and we can all do differently when faced with the same situation in the future. 

I have made a conscious effort to do many things this year including:

• Detaching myself from a crutch I've somehow formed since I was 15 years old --- alcohol. Today makes one year without it and I've only had the urge once; back in August (needless to say, I fought the urge and won). The only other time in my life that I've been without alcohol for this long was during pregnancy/nursing, which wasn't a problem at all because I had too. This time, however, I had no reason to quit other than the fact that I no longer wanted it in my life. That's a good feeling of accomplishment and very much progress for me in my life, here on Earth.
• Eliminating venomous relationships and/or people from my life; no matter what the immediate cost. I'm sure this sounds harsh, but it isn't intended that way. This is truth. I try very hard to help anyone in any way that I can, but at some point I started realizing that not every one wants help; some folks just want to take advantage of kindness.
• Strengthening my relationship with Christ. Walking with Him helps me to make the best decisions for me and my family.
• Continuing with my degree at OTC. It's been stressful at times, but will be worth it, in the end. I am very excited about graduating from college. I should graduate in 2013. I'm proof that it's never too late to go back to school.

These are just a few highlights of my glorious year. 2011 has been the best [whole] year of my life (so far) and I look forward to many more years to come (God willing).

Take a moment to reflect on what you're grateful for instead of the things you're not. You may just find you're more blessed than you think.

Happy New Year!

Tangled Up in View

Since Christ has transformed me and is first in my life, I've been getting lots of mixed reviews. The greater percentage of people are complimentary towards me. I also get a percentage of disbelief and fabricated smiles. Surely you know by now (if you read anything that I've written), that I do not in any way, shape or form, claim to be perfect. I am not. I am me. ALWAYS. No matter who's present.

I could fill you full of fairy tales and say the fabricated smiles and looks of disbelief do not bother me, but they do. I find myself spending more and more time alone and yet, I am not lonely. I turn to Him.

Matthew 7:13-20


13. Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
14. Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
15. Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
16. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
17. Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
18. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
19. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
20. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

I Praise Him.

I wanted to stop and state how grateful I am for His presence in my life. I must stop for a moment and Praise Him because He is ultimately responsible. For so many years, I wondered aimlessly through life not understanding anything really. I think back through all my years when I was lost and wonder how I ever made it through. 

I am quite grateful I did because Christ has introduced me to a life I've never known. Things aren't always perfect, but even when I have a day that's the pits, it's still an amazing day that I've been given to Praise Him.

I've noticed the changes in myself, as well as others noticing the changes in me. My fuse isn't nearly as short as it used to be. My patience is growing stronger. I now choose to walk away from conflict where I used to be all in without thinking. I am not perfect, but I strive on a daily basis to walk closer with Him. 

I read my Bible frequently as I am faced with questions. I am faced with questions more and more these days. I view everything in a different light.  

1 John 1:6-10 (NKJV)

6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.

7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.