Four Glorious Years

Four years ago today, I detached myself from a habit I thought I was unable to live without. I was a complete mess and so was my life. I'm not saying it was easy. In the beginning, it certainly wasn't easy at all;  but I'm proof that you can. 

I am openly honest about my former drug addiction and I have no desire to be otherwise. If you're interested in judging, that's you and Your Walk. I am completely comfortable with who I am, who I was and who I strive to be. I always say this because it's true: 

If I'd not been there, I wouldn't be here. That's my motto, I guess you'd say.

Honesty is an important step for my recovery. I'm not exactly sure how the 12 steps work, but my steps have been honesty and support from those I love. Unfortunately, along my way there have been looks of disbelief and judgement; which I'm sure happens to everyone to who makes a change in their lives. For some reason, people tend to judge that that they do not understand or are unwilling to remove from their lives.

I wish I could wrap my arms around every one that experiences this pain in their life and tell them, it gets better. It gets easier. It gets glorious! 

I want so badly to be a recovery advocate. I want to shout my story from the rooftops and help those that need it. Sadly, I know from my own recovery, you have to have the "want to" before anything changes. I struggled with drug and alcohol addiction in some form or another from 15 years old. I am now 32 years old and completely drug and alcohol free! So, when i say life is glorious, that's an understatement. 

If you read this and have any suggestions on how I may go about being a recovery advocate, please feel free to comment here. Also, feel free to share this publicly or privately to anyone you feel may need to hear this! SUPPORT IS KEY!

Reflections of 2011

       

 Owen's snoozing soundly in bed and it's time to relax and reflect on this beautiful year that I have been blessed to have. I am certain this year has been superb due to my walk with Christ. I have put forth more effort during 2011 than I have my whole life towards choosing good and living that way. Sure, I fail sometimes. Don't we all? Yes, we do. Whether you choose to admit it to yourself or not, we all do fail sometimes in our walk. The great part is, everything is a learning experience and we can all do differently when faced with the same situation in the future. 

I have made a conscious effort to do many things this year including:

• Detaching myself from a crutch I've somehow formed since I was 15 years old --- alcohol. Today makes one year without it and I've only had the urge once; back in August (needless to say, I fought the urge and won). The only other time in my life that I've been without alcohol for this long was during pregnancy/nursing, which wasn't a problem at all because I had too. This time, however, I had no reason to quit other than the fact that I no longer wanted it in my life. That's a good feeling of accomplishment and very much progress for me in my life, here on Earth.
• Eliminating venomous relationships and/or people from my life; no matter what the immediate cost. I'm sure this sounds harsh, but it isn't intended that way. This is truth. I try very hard to help anyone in any way that I can, but at some point I started realizing that not every one wants help; some folks just want to take advantage of kindness.
• Strengthening my relationship with Christ. Walking with Him helps me to make the best decisions for me and my family.
• Continuing with my degree at OTC. It's been stressful at times, but will be worth it, in the end. I am very excited about graduating from college. I should graduate in 2013. I'm proof that it's never too late to go back to school.

These are just a few highlights of my glorious year. 2011 has been the best [whole] year of my life (so far) and I look forward to many more years to come (God willing).

Take a moment to reflect on what you're grateful for instead of the things you're not. You may just find you're more blessed than you think.

Happy New Year!