April 17th, 2014 made three years that I "officially" gave my life to Christ and joined Community Christian Church. However, my Walk started on September 3rd, 2010. I'm a note-taker. Is that obvious? Almost every step I've taken in my Christian walk, I've noted. I'm on Volume IV.
I asked Pa Frank where I should start & he said to start with The Creation Story in the Old Testament. Keep in mind, I knew nothing. Zilch. I wasn't brought up in church. The only church I had ever experienced was on my own initiative basically. I remember when I was around 8 or 9 years old, riding the bus to Gospel Light Baptist Church while staying the weekend at my Mom's. I went there several times & can't remember the sermons in Sunday School but, I remember being saved there. The only thing I remember is that we all bowed our heads & prayed & I was saved that day. I was a baby, I had no idea what Salvation meant. In fact, I had no idea what Salvation meant up until the last few years. I do know that I was experiencing a lot that no child should ever have to experience during that time & to have some sense of security that Jesus loved me had to be pretty appealing.
I went to Psalms 91 in Linwood, NC a couple times when I was nine. My Mom was teaching a children's Sunday School class for a while & I was able to go a couple times. I memorized a verse (I still remember it) from:
Acts 4:12 - Neither is there Salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
I received this beautiful bookmark for memorizing the verse:
There were a few occasions that I went to a little church in the Linwood, NC area with a friend of mine around the age of ten. I remember saving the programs when I went to church there (I've since thrown them away & wish that I'd kept them) and how good it made me feel to be surrounded by love. I've learned that this was, most assuredly, the Holy Spirit within those walls.
In 1999, I was experiencing trials & tribulations in my life that stemmed from childhood & had no idea what to do with them. I went to church with a friend from work & was led to the front at the end of service, crying & joyful simultaneously. I was given the above cross & have kept it all these years. That crying and joy did not convince me to turn from my sins. I wasn't ready.
The above snippets are all the memories that I have of church until 2010 (minus one). They all have one common denominator = I fled to Christ when things were bad. This time, I turned to Christ because things were so good. They weren't perfect (by no stretch of the imagination) but, I was doing better in my life, than I ever had.
When I started reading my Bible, I wasn't ready to attend church. I was terrified someone would ask me a question and I wouldn't know the answer to it. I was terrified I wasn't "good enough".
2 Corinthians 12:9 ...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness...
I was terrified I would be considered a hypocrite. I was so worried what someone else might think.
If you really know who you are in Christ, you don't have to convince everybody else that you're right.
--- Joyce Meyer
Obviously, I didn't know who I was in Christ at that point & sometimes I still struggle with that because I let people's judgement stand in my view & I shouldn't. Being a Christian is hard. Life isn't perfect. That's the common misconception is that a Christian's life is perfect. Nope.
Christianity to me is living my life for Him; every second, every day & every way, my thoughts go directly to Him.
Do I always succeed? No. Do I always try again? YES! Always.
There's no turning back for me.
If there's one thing I can tell you, it's that He's been there all along,
Jeremiah 29:13 - And yea shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
When I was Baptized on September 18th, 2011, the scripture that came to my mind was:
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and He shall lift you up.
And He shall.
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